Monday, 22 October 2012

A Mother's Frustrations ...

I wanted to capture these thoughts and feelings as they happened for authenticity's sake.

Why is it still so difficult to keep all these damn balls in the air ... work-money-family.  We have a relatively humble existence, we don't have a lot of money but we do just manage to earn enough and spend meaningful time with our kids.  

I have come to understand there is always a sacrifice to be made in each phase of life - be it money for childcare, the hours spent working out the house, the money lost through spending more time at home or  most recently forgoing several nights sleep a week in order to keep the other balls of money and family in the air instead for a while.

But for all my pro activity in finding an alternative to working nights I am still so frustrated at the difficulty of the logistics of it all.  If it's not finding a job itself it is having to find childcare for the children at funny times for training in new said job or receiving not-very-friendly letters from current employer complaining about the difficulty I seem to be having finding childcare to cover training there.  I am feeling like it is either accepted that extended family a) are around and b) will help out or women generally don't move jobs or go back to work till both kids are at school so none of these employer types actually realise what a task it is working all these arrangements out.

We don't have extended family or friends that can help and my favourite child-looker-afterer is on the opposite side of town to Zander's school and isn't available past school pick up time.  Meanwhile Zander has asked to be home schooled and Gaia is not enjoying nursery as much as she did at first - finding being without me very difficult.  My tribe need me, I'm being pulled in multiple directions and my head is in such a pickle over it all that I can't decide what the right thing to do here is.

Back in the day it was simple - women stayed at home to keep house and raise the family.  Women fought for the right to go out to work just like men but now we've proved how good at multi-tasking we are, we are expected to do it all - raise the family, keep the house and earn a crust and at the same time the price of living keeps going up and any help we once got in the shape of tax credits is now non existent.


I don't like to moan but keeping frustrations in is no good for anyone!

Off to find solace in little things.

love and light X



4 comments:

  1. {{hugs}} lovely. i know all to well how you're feeling. we don't have extended family nearby, or anyone i can really leave the girls with reguaraly {or at all for Baya}

    We made huge sacrifices for me to stay home with the girls full time. FInancilly we'd be better off i I worked, but we manage somehow. i feel incredibly lucky to be able to be a full time, home schooling mama.

    i make a little extra income working from home, but no where enough to support us, it just pays for the odd extra here and there.

    follow your heart, listen to what is right for you and your kiddos. i'm here if you ever want a sounding board//someone to rant at ;)

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  2. Sending lots of uplifting thoughts and hugs your way lovely mama xxx

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  3. i know what you mean!! I also think this frequently - women fought so hard for us to be able to work but to get the balance between it all is impossible. My job means i work a long day and then work a lot in the evenings and or getting up early to work before the girls are up. Keeping the home and work and my personal likes, like sewing and crochet is just not possible. Often tearing me metally in half.

    No real advise just hug!!
    x

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  4. and hugs back lovely ladies, my Grandma told me before Christmas 'we've all done the struggle....' hinting there is an end to it one day. The strength of generations past and all you lovelies is invaluable as is a space to vent frustrations x x x

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